


Castiel and his visit, not as usual

by Kinnou



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comfort, I Don't Even Know, M/M, No Plot/Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 14:18:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kinnou/pseuds/Kinnou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean got drunk. Sam was being pissed off. Cas showed up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Castiel and his visit, not as usual

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I still have no idea how I could finish this but I did. This little shit of me was placed somewhere in season 4 (or season 5) so you see that I just want to make Cas happier than he was in the show and I'm pretty sure that Sam had felt like me too.
> 
> I'm not a native English speaker, neither I'm good at it and this is unbeta'd and it's also my first fiction so please correct me if you feel this unbearable okay? (or you could just ignore it...)
> 
> Enjoy.

It was a clear night in this small town in Colorado. Dean and Sam had stopped there to take a little vacation, as Dean stated, for three days. Because nothing had happened, no dubious death, no evil sign, no strange incident. Nothing. It was to the extent that they began to think this world might finally be in peace, or this was just the silence before a bigger storm making its way to their already-abnormal-lives. Luckily, Sam had found a piece of news online, claimed that there had been several mystery deaths happened at the North of Water Valley, Mississippi. The world hadn't stopped spinning yet, what a relief.

“Whoa”, Dean exclaimed, “Are policers getting more and more useless nowadays? I mean, people are being torn to pieces in their town and yet they have no idea how to solve the cases.”

“Or it’s just because they have lived their lives right, have never seen deaths caused by ancient curses and this is obviously our job”, Sam frowned at his brother, "and stop letting your drunk self talk!“ Sam shot his brother a warning look and then again got back to focused on the news, "so I guess we’ll head to Water Valley tomorrow.”

Dean paid a close look to the laptop screen one more time, then he shrugged. This made Sam sighed. How could his brother always be like this? How could his live always be like this? It was summer and anyone who had got to their normal senses would have all celebrated for the baseball season to come and he, along with Dean, would have also done that if they were born differently, were raised up by a different family. Then Sam got shiver by his own thoughts. Gosh, he should not think about those things anymore. He loved his brother and he was saving people’s lives, it was ten thousand times worth than a whole baseball season thing. He tried to chase the negative thoughts away when a sharp tone of voice cut the whole thing off immediately.

“You’re on your new case?”

Dean jumped a little and Sam almost felt off his chair. He liked Castiel but he just wished that sometimes, the angel could knock on their door or send them an email to announce his appearance.

“Damn!”, Dean snorted at Cas, “Okay, why are you here? Is the apocalypse happening or we’re missing something?”

Cas tilted his head, his curious blue eyes fixed on Dean. Sam thought this gesture was nice, as he liked to observe the angel without being noticed by Cas himself or his brutal brother. He especially fond of Cas’s eyes. Sam had never seen eyes like that before, they were just pure of the ocean innocent blue. Whenever he got to look at the stillness of water in Cas’s eyes, he had come to sense a transcendental knowledge about angels’s existence, they could be the light to guide us through all things; or they could be the transparent silhouette, be the unmoving figures but gave moral people a full concievableness about their existence, whether they just stood there, or guided us, Sam could always imagine their eyes to be just like Cas’s. And it made him felt serene.

“I”, Cas seemed like he was struggling to put his words in order, “I just want to make sure that you are fine.” Cas gave Sam a slight look, like he just accidentally recalled there was Sam in the room,  then he immediately bowed his head, as if he was studying something really important on the floor, a new creature waiting to be born, perhaps.

He sighed at the awkward silence. Sam was disappointed about his brother. Dean could never give Cas a warm welcome or treat him gently and this made Sam angry every time it happened. Not to mention that Dean was drunk the whole night. Then he made up his mind that he should do something about this. Sam shut down his laptop and stomped out.

“Hey, where are you going?”, Dean shouted.

 “I should go out to buy dinner for us, I’ve had enough with you holding your booze as dinner and acting insane all night. I really am surprised that you haven’t been off to Hell, again”, then he intentionally raised his voice, “ I also think you should pour Cas a cup of tea.” After finishing his talk, Sam swifly closed the door without a slam.

Only Dean and Cas left in the small room. Damn, it was like his brother were cheating him. Dean looked at Cas and then looked at the door. He felt really uncomfortable to have Cas appear out of nowhere all of a sudden. He did not even want to see Cas! Maybe he should say something to him, maybe he should tell the angel to go play somewhere else and leave him alone. He felt dizzy. And why the heck Cas showed up at this time? Because he truly cared about him and Sam? Dean laughed bitterly. Because noone had ever cared for him and his brother, even their dad.

“You know, you don’t have to make me a cup of tea. Eating and drinking are not…”, Cas hesitated a little, his eyes were forced not to look at Dean, “affecting me, anyway.”

Dean peered at the miserably-try-to-have-a-conversation Castiel and he got this guilty feeling dwelt on him. He felt like someone had just shoved him into a pool of ice. As soon as he became sober up, Dean threw himself puzzled in thoughts: maybe Cas did care for him and Sam, like many times before he did, maybe Cas just simply wanted to get closed with them without any intentions, maybe he shouldn’t have talked to Cas in such an improper manner like that in the first place. He regretted saying those words when he looked into Cas’s face now.  He made a small gesture to tell Cas to sit on the chair, then Dean himself came to sit on the table. The situation got better, it got much endurable for both, Dean thought.

“Cas, I’m not mad at you. Don’t worry. It was my fault for being rude like that because today I drank too much alcohol, you understood?”

“You had seemed annoyed since my arrival. I just don’t want to make you get into more trouble. Dean, I’m fine without tea, really.”

Dean’s eyes got widened. Shit, Cas was seriously brood over the whole tea thing, now he was sure he would shoot Sam right before he could bring that goddamn dinner back. But after that Dean felt happy about Cas’s innocence. Cas was truly a naïve one and the only one who came to them with pure intent to help them. He had come to adore that part of his angel so much that he could not bear to imagine what he could do when Cas lost it.

Dean smiled softly.

“Sam was just kiddin’. He just meant that I should have welcomed you in and assisted you if you need anything from us. It was just a way of talking, of indicating things, you know.”

Cas’s face still expressed nothing, but Dean could tell that he was thinking hard, real hard to comprehend what Dean had said.  After hearing Cas’s ‘Okay’, his body felt much lighter.

“And… I’m sorry for being harsh with you when you showed up. You care about me and Sam, I should have given you my thanks, not to make you feel more confusing.”

“I know that you didn’t believe in Father and us. And I know that you still don’t. Your way of reacting was understandable so I’m not confusing.”

Cas’s thinking was logically but somehow it was not convincing to Dean at all. Which part, he asked himself. If you didn’t know Castiel, you could easily mistake all of his expressions as cold as stone or you could simply think that he didn’t have any facial expressions. But Dean would not be fooled. He did not know how yet he knew he had made his angel felt wrong and because of that he felt like he was playing villain this whole time.

And it possibly was true, this whole time.

His retarded self had lay blame on everything.  Yes, he didn’t believe in God, Heaven and angels. He wasn’t be able to believe in all of those beautiful thing, this made Dean felt like he was being  pessimistic, like a character playing his own tragedy.  So how could a dramatic pessimist, who only knew devils and scary things were true, pay his respect to the things that he refused to believe in?

Dean took a deep breath.

“Then, were you sad?”

After hearing his question, Cas remained silence. He was truly sad, Dean thought. His angel was feeling bothered and sad by his villainy self. His angel,his savior, the one who gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.

Dean got up and knelt in front of Cas, praying that this splendid angel wouldn’t disappear from him without goodbye. His hand brushed agaisnt Cas’s arm.

“You look bothered, Dean”, Cas shot through Dean with his eyes. He raised his head so his eyes could  meet with Cas’s. “I am bothered, Cas”, he replied. Dean usually looked into Cas’s eyes with a fierce expression, like he dared Cas to spill out his words, his gentle and carring words . It was like all the time Dean had tried to demance Cas blindingly so that he could easily get rid of his timidities and believe that after seeing Cas wretched face he would be able to return to his own normal self. He had been living in such hazy fear. To reminiscent such moments made Dean more embarassed as well as more determined. This time, Dean looked straight into those eyes with the hope to convey his feeling wholeheartedly.

“Cas, I thank you for not dissapear without saying a word today. I thank you for every single time you come out from nowhere and ask me and Sam if we are fine. I thank you for always replying to my unreasonable demand although you have many busy things up there waiting for you to handle. I thank you for helping us so so many times without requiring anything back. I thank you for saving me back there in Hell. And most of all”, his thumb now was caressing Cas’s cheekbone, “I thank you for being here in my life.” 

The two of them held the silence for a while. Dean was getting more and more nervous because Cas just sit there and stared at him blankly. When Dean awkwardly decided that he had failed and he should stand up before the situation getting weirder, he suddenly felt a slight brush of warm agaisnt his cheek. He then realized in awe that Cas had kissed him!

“You…”

Cas’s face became softer, he gave Dean a smile brightened with his shinning eyes. The brightness of them reminded him of all the stars showing off their beauty in the milky way and everything in the world had suddenly became irrelevant .

“You seemed a little bit confusing, Dean. I think I should make you a cup of tea.”

Standing outside with the pack of salads and hamburgers, Sam’ secrectly chuckles were being dimmed by the lights of the motel.

Finally, their angel was able to feel happy, he thought.

 

 


End file.
